Balancing Family, Church, and Work
We are not mental health professionals, always consult mental health and medical doctors before taking anyone's medical and mental health advice.
Rev. Alesha Ferguson, MES
26 Jan 2024
I am a pastor’s wife, a mother, and a schoolteacher. I am not a mental health professional. However, our daily mental health is something that needs to be addressed in the church world. If you or a family member have significant mental health concerns, please reach out for professional help from a trained counselor or doctor.
Maintaining mental health can be a difficult thing to do while attempting to balance family, church, and work. It is very easy as a Christian to become caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and in the process of trying to get everything done, taking care of all the things that need to happen in your life, you may become too busy and not take care of yourself. Many times, I have heard stories of Christian’s who find they have gotten caught up in the social side of church; potlucks, events, fundraisers, taking care of others and their own families that they do not take the time needed to just be still and spend time with God. As a pastor’s wife who also works outside of home, I find that if I do not designate a time in my daily life to spend with God a time where I focus on him and on my relationship with him then I can become so overwhelmed that the entire house of cards, called my life begins to collapse around me. I do not just drop one ball such as forgetting to stop at the grocery store on the way home no I forget to stop and give my family the attention they deserve and need. I become emotionally distant or detached from the things that matter most to me. I do not do this because I do not care, I do it because I have allowed the busyness of life to overwhelm me, and life turns into chaos. If this sounds familiar to you here are some things I try to do when I find myself letting life get out of balance.
Set aside some time for a heart to heart with God – study the word, pray and listen for God’s guidance.
Set aside time for my husband and I to do something we enjoy (example – we go somewhere that has no cell signal and such as a hike in the woods)
Say no when asked to take on more things.
Set aside some time to do something I find relaxing.
Connect with a trusted friend (support system) and let them hold you accountable to saying no and also talk to them about things that are bothering you.
Focus on today and sort it out before you worry about the next day.Prioritize and set a goal to address one dropped ball at a time until you get things back into balance.
Doing these things will not solve all the problems of your life but they will help you dig your way out of feeling overwhelmed and overloaded. As followers of Jesus we want to help others and we want to be a light to the world. However, as the flight attendants say every time they prepare a flight for takeoff “In the case of an emergency please put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting anyone around you”. If we do not take care of our own relationship with God and maintain a healthy balance in our own lives we will not be able to be there for the people who need us. As a Jesus follower I want to set the example by being a healthy individual with smart boundaries and sanity otherwise why would anyone want to know more about the God I love. Please remember if you or your family members have a significant mental health concern seek out professional support.